Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard "you may now kiss the bride" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

#2798321
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69981) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

#2798038
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (79368)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99826) - you deserved it (9987)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML

#2793513
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48235) - you deserved it (14927)

On 06/11/2009 at 2:12am - love - by seablue (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received an email from a temp agency trying to hire me. Suprisingly, it was the same job I was just laid off from after two years of great employment. They were trying to hire me at half my original salary. FML

#2792784
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48998) - you deserved it (2223)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:21am - work - by surfernerd6987 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

#2792328
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (48877)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by silly_billy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got into an argument with a 7 year old. He said that Obama was the 44th President, I said he was the 42nd. Guess who was right. FML

#2791177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (78793)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by feeldumb - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

#2787428
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (42351)

On 06/10/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by parkinglotslayer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

#2785854
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54176) - you deserved it (4497)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70406) - you deserved it (4918)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

#2780128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About half way through I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML

#2777163
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52685) - you deserved it (21054)

On 06/10/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by rubmytummy (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: