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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

#7535757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (4170)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:03am - misc - by unluckymiss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

#7534728
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (2641)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML

#7534159
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29002) - you deserved it (2682)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:01am - love - by pogodrake (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (9433)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12252) - you deserved it (24226)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

#7527132
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34727) - you deserved it (2524)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm - kids - by onemoreruinedthing (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14645) - you deserved it (20232)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (7860)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12047) - you deserved it (36350)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

#7521211
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4995) - you deserved it (57335)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (2732)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

#7518203
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

#7516838
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (33478)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)



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