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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

#6131047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (2119)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

#6131025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (2758)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:24am - love - by whysheheartless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

#6130928
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (6695)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

#6129909
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6645) - you deserved it (19309)

On 11/03/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by HadToApologize (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (5383)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (3839)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (38859)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

#6122066
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8530) - you deserved it (28693)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

#6118877
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (4946)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by feelthelove - United States

Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

#6118841
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26696) - you deserved it (2640)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

#6118642
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (36250)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



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