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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43038) - you deserved it (5579)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45855) - you deserved it (5001)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML

#21185673
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35164) - you deserved it (3684)

On 06/23/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48791) - you deserved it (5208)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39146) - you deserved it (4458)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

#21184935
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37420) - you deserved it (4640)

On 06/23/2014 at 1:41am - animals - by callmeclarence - United States (California)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38250) - you deserved it (4262)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44645) - you deserved it (3217)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41245) - you deserved it (5206)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

#21183278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (3294)

On 06/21/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by kay-z (man) - United States

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39108) - you deserved it (4427)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56386) - you deserved it (4332)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)



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