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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML

#4178652
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11573) - you deserved it (54745)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by EmBAREassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

#4177051
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91164) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

#4176016
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48786) - you deserved it (2374)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:03am - love - by FreakedOut (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

#4174665
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13387) - you deserved it (39893)

On 07/31/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Girafarig (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

#4173931
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10197) - you deserved it (44275)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

#4173235
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44497) - you deserved it (2850)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after receiving a message about being hired at a retail store, I went to the orientation for new employees. The trainer seemed perplexed when I told him my name, but he gave me my paperwork and continued with training. At the end of the 8 hour day, he asked to talk to me. I wasn't actually hired. FML

#4172505
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38408) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:30pm - work - by LMN (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

#4172225
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (17656)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

#4165999
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43038) - you deserved it (27142)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML

#4161962
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47854) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45182) - you deserved it (6219)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

#4158714
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46928) - you deserved it (4102)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53004) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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