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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML

#3102076
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9857) - you deserved it (58675)

On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

#3100953
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49751) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm - work - by blahpizzablah (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60794) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37153) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML

#3096016
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38532) - you deserved it (13633)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39227) - you deserved it (5473)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

#3093736
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52652) - you deserved it (14802)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

#3091198
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76382) - you deserved it (4626)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by picaru (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

#3088891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (15566)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

#3083696
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11723) - you deserved it (55670)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug addicted friends into my home while I was away where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

#3083208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (4851)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:09am - money - by myheadhurts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was thinking about how people say if you're gradually introduced to a smell or you're forced to deal with enough, you'll stop noticing it. And how untrue that is. Especially when your roommates sneak a dead rabbit under your bed. FML

#3082688
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37773) - you deserved it (2418)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

#3080092
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14382) - you deserved it (41239)

On 06/21/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Crispy (man) - United States (Texas)



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