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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (8357)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my writing teacher entered in one of my paper grades wrong. After many emails, she said she can't change my grade unless I fax her the original. I need that grade fixed so I can keep my scholarship. I can’t find the paper anywhere. That one paper could cost me $30,000. FML

#1975223
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64411) - you deserved it (7422)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53939) - you deserved it (21835)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

#1971968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43841) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50995) - you deserved it (10429)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

#1969989
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (15314)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42567) - you deserved it (5770)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (62911)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

#1967473
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (1471)

On 05/15/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by FriendsZone (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (2448)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

#1962325
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44073) - you deserved it (2914)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

#1961267
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (11392)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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