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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

#3777907
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8388) - you deserved it (52708)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

#3777145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11021) - you deserved it (48792)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51891) - you deserved it (4832)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (38667)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

#3772243
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (14881)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51617) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

#3768718
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61839) - you deserved it (2831)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I forgot my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

#3767718
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (5564)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47519) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

#3763023
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53420) - you deserved it (12813)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

#3759649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52424) - you deserved it (4040)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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