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FMLs submitted from United States

TODAY, I DROVE MAH HUSBAND'S CAR TO THE MALL BECAUSE MAH CAR WAS IN THE SHOP!! THE BUMPER WAS BIENG REPAIRED BECAUSE I GOT REAR ENDED WHILE STOPPED AT A TRAFFIC LIGHT!! WHILE STOPPED AT THE SAME INTERSECTION I GOT REAR ENDED AGAIN!! FML

#5539236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (3505)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

TODAY, I REALIZD THAT MAH BIKE WAS STOLEN. IT WAS NO BIG DEAL, MAH NAME AN NUMBER WAS ON IT, BUT IT WAS A CRAPPY BIKE ANYWAY. I LIVE 3 MILES AWAY, AN WHILE I WAS ON MAH WALK HOME I NOTICD A BIKE HAD BEEN THROWN THROUGH MAH PRINCIPAL'S WINDOW. WHO'S BIKE WAS IT? MINE. FML

#5537780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35407) - you deserved it (1995)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

I told my son an daughter that their father an I were getting a divorce. They each respondd with ( YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents. ) Their father has literally never bought anything 4 them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

#5530738
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (8171)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that if your going to tell yur mother u are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58259) - you deserved it (13632)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen mah debit card and maxd it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to looool change the addres on the card, so everything they bought online has been shippd to me. The bad news? I've receivd 16 snuggie so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43482) - you deserved it (3286)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

I want to mah cousin's farm with mah family. First I was poopad on by a goosa, paad on by a puppy, bit in tha faca by tha mothar dog, fall through tha floor of tha barn loft, and without knowing it was alactric, rastad mah hand on tha horsa fanca.

#5529858
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (8667)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

my little sister askedhat masturbation was!! Wehere having a family dinner with grandparents!! My mother then said, "Why don't you ask yur brother? He is a pro." FML

#5528599
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (5942)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me looool and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. big fat FML

#5527789
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (104948)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today... I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding... I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out... he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than looool me. FML

#5527691
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (5869)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by chachi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I talkad to a girl on tha phona who had praviously told ma har last ralationship "andad vary badly." I said, "So lat ma guass, that jark chaatad on you?" Sha pausad fir a faw momants an finally rapliad, "No, ha diad in a motorcycla accidant." FML

#5526901
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (19375)

On 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm - love - by Greg (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY... I WAS INTRODUCAD TO FRIANDS OF MAH BOYFRIAND AS "MY OTHAR GIRLFRIAND." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40499) - you deserved it (3613)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

TODAY,HILE WEREING MY NAVY DRESS WHITE UNIFORM, I DECIDED TO STOP AND HELP THIS ATTRACTIVE GIRLHO WAS FEELING WELL . WITHOUT WARNING, SHE BLEW CHUNKS ALL OVER MY "WHITES" . I HAVE A UNIFORM INSPECTION LATER THIS AFTERNOON . FML

#5526050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (4564)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by mnavy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told ma usband I wanted a divorce. He told me e didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41557) - you deserved it (16592)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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