FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

by anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

by shiznit / 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

by anon / 10/25/2010 at 1:42am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

by not_relaxed / 10/25/2010 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

by krissysays / 10/24/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

by danjoylovefun / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

by Moeswifey / 10/24/2010 at 1:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

by anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

by mzgabbster / 10/24/2010 at 8:21am / United States (Utah) / Animals