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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (42091)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML

#6584375
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (17449)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:20pm - misc - by NoName (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

#6583766
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10181) - you deserved it (37831)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38318) - you deserved it (2486)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (36533)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

#6579645
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by bdaygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (75087)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38973) - you deserved it (3590)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33524) - you deserved it (8625)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (11153)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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