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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

#6377475
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (4955)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:29am - work - by DamnDogs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML

#6377384
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (3482)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:25am - love - by sadday (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (6915)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

#6377275
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7935) - you deserved it (38694)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got an interview at a restaurant after looking for a job for three months. I dressed nice, and the interview was going well until this blonde girl in booty shorts and fishnets walked in. The manager hired her on the spot. FML

#6374426
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24244) - you deserved it (1926)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML

#6373189
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (5428)

On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my lunch tray. Unthinkingly, i tossed it into the garbage can. 10 minutes later i realized I had thrown it away and spent the next hour searching through six garbage cans of half-eaten food. FML

#6372164
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (26734)

On 11/19/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by gravycoveredblackberry (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

#6370061
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (8186)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (6009)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

#6367435
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (5020)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31214) - you deserved it (3990)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

#6365107
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (4918)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:33am - health - by SeeTony (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8153) - you deserved it (27272)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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