Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

#8678554
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

#8675037
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (22216)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

#8673018
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (15430)

On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML

#8664737
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (8028)

On 02/26/2010 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by sad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

#8664112
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (3845)

On 02/26/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by canadiansun - United States (Ohio)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9385) - you deserved it (36646)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26146) - you deserved it (2400)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

#8663349
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7220) - you deserved it (27812)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:43pm - animals - by Shinobi_3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57248) - you deserved it (4137)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28203) - you deserved it (8131)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (3824)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: