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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

#8693763
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (7362)

On 02/27/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by atmac95 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (7005)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

#8690586
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (2262)

On 02/27/2010 at 2:03pm - health - by hairplease (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

#8687121
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (2770)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

#8686937
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (3406)

On 02/27/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by msmusiclover7 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremly selfish person, and that I do not love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a backrub in 2 weeks, sleep too much and have a hormonal problem. Once again, I AM PREGNANT! FML

#8684700
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (5666)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:17am - health - by ksztte (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (3016)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8246) - you deserved it (37709)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

#8678554
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

#8675037
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8519) - you deserved it (22083)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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