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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today , I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane , but "Blair" , "Blake" , "Lane" , and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

#5840446
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (3678)

On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today I was making out with a guy I raally lika . Midway through ha stoppad and said ha had to snaaza . Aftar waiting savaral saconds ha said tha urga want away and wa kapt making out . Tan sacond latar ha violantly snaazad in my opan mouth . big fat FML

#5839452
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34839) - you deserved it (4740)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realizd that mah vrus protection program now has a vrus. FML

#5839185
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (4662)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was involvd in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive looool at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-endd me at a rd light. FML

#5837946
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (1660)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by gooddriver (woman) - United States

yesterday I just let out all mah feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 yeres. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

#5835867
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (5633)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only personho has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant fir that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight . FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (3047)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday I went to a party where I met some nice grls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

#5831331
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (23627)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

today I walkd into a T-Mobile store to get a new pone. I wantd all of ma numbers on ma new pone , but te customer service rep ad to transfer tem. He said jokingly , "I understand. You don't want to lose yur girlfriend's number." My girlfriend an I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (7140)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today , a woman yelld at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently , no one informd her of this. mega FML

#5829001
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (2084)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML

#5828114
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88167) - you deserved it (14713)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , I got a phone call from mah boyfriend , who screamed at me 4 bieng a f-ing liar an never taking time 4 him. He'd called mah work an knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving 4 the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

#5827386
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (3342)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am - love - by DumpedHisAss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed that my cloths had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your cloths to give u some incentive to loose all that belly u got." FML

#5827048
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7106)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in mah psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife"!! The person in that picture turned out to be mah teacher!! real FML

#5826781
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (8490)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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