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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

#8930944
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (4734)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:24pm - money - by yessssir - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

#8929272
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (4853)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by yayaimannoying (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

#8928407
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7006) - you deserved it (32458)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by BNLM - United States

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (6540)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML

#8920959
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by justpeachy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (3365)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12453) - you deserved it (33092)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

#8916783
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39450) - you deserved it (4760)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

#8916498
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23879) - you deserved it (3461)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by sleepy2010 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

#8916376
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

#8915747
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10560) - you deserved it (42703)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by what434 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

#8914143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7938) - you deserved it (49723)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by dream_girl_3 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (3947)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)



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