Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

#6945734
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (3789)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by RoxahTheGreat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19172) - you deserved it (2861)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put $1000 on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The receipt with the 14-digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

#6945221
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28936) - you deserved it (3511)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm - money - by kraziikayce (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce. However, they asked me not to tell any of the family so that the news doesn't spoil Christmas. Thanks, Mom and Dad. FML

#6939095
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (2083)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by parentalfail (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (7325)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

#6937151
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (8779)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8471) - you deserved it (52354)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

#6933865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (2253)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by sucks_brah (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (3749)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

#6933650
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (2943)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:04am - love - by HeSucks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends and I were shopping for dresses. I asked the lady at the counter for a size 4, she looked at me and mumbled "Yeah right." in front of everyone. FML

#6933189
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (4660)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by hahasuckit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (11123)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: