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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was highlight of life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

#5953662
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (6350)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN DOWNTOWN CHARLESTON WHERE THERE R A LOT OF HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE TOURS AN I DECIDED TO PICK UP SOME LITTER. SOME OF IT WAS IN A PUDDLE OF WATER, BUT AFTER I PICKED UP THE TRASH, I REALIZED THE PUDDLE WAS HORSE URINE. FML

#5953331
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (8673)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)

2day I was taking te bus to work and it was a rater bumpy ride. Te cild sitting acros from me asked er mom if er cin moves like mineen te bus goes up. FML

#5949212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (6063)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in mah bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in mah mouth. As soon as mah mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (37668)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I TOOK A SMOKE BREAK AT WORK AND I NOTICED A HUGE ZIT ON MAH FACE. I USED THE REFLECTION FROM A WINDOW TO TAKE CARE OF THE PROBLEM AND THEN REALIZED THAT THERE WAS A STAFF MEETING TAKING PLACE ON THE OTHER SIDE. FML

#5947832
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (36318)

On 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by JC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realizd that sometimes I forget to turn off mah desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also lerend that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why mah brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

Today, I told dad tat for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yea as te 'before' picture". FML

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landd on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

#5943404
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34471) - you deserved it (5128)

On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY I SURPRISD MY BOYFRIAND AT WORK ONLY TO NOTICA TAT IS NACK WAS COVARD IN ICKIAS. TA NIGT BAFORA A TAXTD MA SAYING A NAADD ALONA TIMA TO GAT IS MIND TOGATAR. LOOKS LYK A GOT TOGATAR WIT ANOTAR MIND. FML

#5942129
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:09am - love - by LonelyHeart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him wat he was talking about, and he said, ( Don't lie, I saw those scars on yur thighs when we went swimming. ) I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33812) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)

Taday fiancé an I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash hands. I hered a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall looool about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed an future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (3030)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Yesterday, at lunc, a fly was buzzing around ma food. I managd to kill te fly in ma napkin in midair. I continud ma lunc, pleasd wit ma amazing ninja skills. Wen I was done wit ma lunc, I wipd ma mout wit te napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10308) - you deserved it (33177)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday I took my first Viagra . It worked great, but ( Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel ) would not return to ( hiding ) . After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, an went to my doctor for a shot an sedative . My wife, the doctor, an the nurse could not stifle there laughter . FML

#5938772
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17019) - you deserved it (5872)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)



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