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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

#9037233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6039) - you deserved it (40101)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:16am - misc - by EwokLover17 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you deserved it (4171)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (2922)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54089) - you deserved it (2341)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (5870)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

#9023853
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (29876)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

#9021346
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (34293)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:39am - work - by jewel87 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML

#9020245
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/12/2010 at 10:06am - love - by steakysteak (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (3690)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6274) - you deserved it (30791)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (2911)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (3444)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States



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