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FMLs submitted from United States

Taday my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earnd selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was deliverd already, an the money needs to be turnd in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my nieghbors r eating. FML

#5989748
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (5116)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... my crus finally let me drive is truck fir te frst time in a empty parking lot... after e told me e liked me. It was so dark tat I ended up driving into and pole and totaled is car. Now e ates me. FML

#5989698
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8831) - you deserved it (38445)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today.. . I got a speeding ticket . My speedometer got busted a few weeks back.. . rendering it useless . My father.. . a former mechanic.. . decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it . ( Just keep with traffic when your on the highway; you'll be fine . ) This $150 fee says otherwise . FML

#5987696
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (25679)

On 10/25/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by ZThirteen (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah cousin and I were out on the boardwalk . I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seieng eye dog . fat FML

#5981900
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (9690)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

YESTERDAY AFTER I HAD FINISHED VACUUMING, I RIPPED THE CORD OUT OF THE OUTLET AN IT HIT ME IN THE FACE CUTTING BOTH MAH TOP AN BOTTOM LIP. FML

#5980515
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9178) - you deserved it (30907)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today...hile shopping for some banana at mah local grocery store... an old woman came up to me an started rubbing mah stomach. She simply askedhen I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (13982)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed,hile I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

#5975036
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (6491)

On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

TODAY, I DISCOVARAD THATHAN YOUR THA MAID OF HONOR GIVING A TOAST AT YUR BAST FRIAND'S WADDING, IT'S IMPORTANT TO MAKA SURA THA ZIPPAR ON YUR DRASS IS SACURAD . OTHARWISA, YUR BARA BRAAST AND HALLO KITTY PANTIA COULD AND UP AXPOSAD TO A WADDING PARTY OF 600 PAOPLA . FML

#5973387
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (8108)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returnd to te table to fine tat my food was gone, and could ear noting but ( SUCKKAAAA ) trailing from te entrance to te restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. fat FML

#5972550
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31336) - you deserved it (8800)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Yastarday I Was Informad By Mah Naxt Door Naighbor That Thay Haard Ma Singing In Tha Showar Last Night . I Laughad And Sha Told Ma That Tha Family Gathars In Thair Upstars Room Closast To Mah Bathroom Window To Guass Which Song I'm Singing . Evary Night . FML

#5971275
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (5862)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

TODAY, I WAS PLAYING FARMVILLE ALL DAY, AN I WAS REALLY INTO THE GAME. I WAS GETTING PHONE CALLS ALL DAY, BUT I KEPT IGNORING THEM CAUSE I WAS MAKING SO MUCH FARM MONEY. COME TO FIND OUT IT WAS MY SON'S SCHOOL. HE FELL OFF THE JUNGLE GYM AN BROKE HIS ARM. FML

#5970435
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (125990)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today... as I was driving with mah boyfriend... he pointed outhat a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work... the vents are broken... the windshield wipers are busted... mah headlights aren't bright... an a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for mah car... 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (3531)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday My Fiance Told Me He Thought It Was Time That We Started To See Other People . I'm Six Months Pregnant With His Baby . Fat FML

#5968857
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Marcella (woman) - United States (Washington)



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