Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39398) - you deserved it (2453)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (5991)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (10963)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

#6751982
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (5343)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got an email from the Law School Admissions Council saying that they received my request for my LSAT cancellation and they are confirming that it has been cancelled. The email also said the score will not be reinstated for any reason. I never requested for my score to be cancelled. FML

#6751692
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (1935)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by dahlia87 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (4166)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (3506)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (26350)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (8474)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

#6746062
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9845) - you deserved it (22540)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - love - by creeper (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

#6746547
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (4303)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - money - by Cathy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

#6741801
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5349) - you deserved it (34273)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: