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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

#9077392
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

#9077229
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (2373)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:14pm - kids - by mommy - United States

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

#9074868
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (23655)

On 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by teachingsucks (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (11196)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (4498)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (9797)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

#9065409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28458) - you deserved it (4629)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:00am - love - by crapcrapcrap (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

#9064267
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (2411)

On 03/14/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by kkbb - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (5738)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9126) - you deserved it (35582)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

#9054929
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (2741)

On 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm - love - by hurt (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (10731)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

#9048204
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (36766)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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