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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (5738)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8967) - you deserved it (35101)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

#9054929
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44262) - you deserved it (2741)

On 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm - love - by hurt (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25814) - you deserved it (10730)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

#9048204
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7671) - you deserved it (36750)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

#9047626
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (9383)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML

#9043553
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12209) - you deserved it (29375)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17am - love - by sXeQueen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12288) - you deserved it (27188)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

#9040800
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7317) - you deserved it (22035)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by loki (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (16998)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

#9037500
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (4063)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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