Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

#4725527
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6415) - you deserved it (51046)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by John (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I listened to a voice mail from my mom about how she misses me and cant wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

#4725507
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (2448)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by taylor124 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

#4714998
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14231) - you deserved it (41718)

On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my Mom had taken out a loan out on my car from the repo man taking my car away. FML

#4712863
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (2081)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:44pm - money - by jonhapimp (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

#4712150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36377) - you deserved it (1847)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

#4709917
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

#4708502
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35865) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32220) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

#4706873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (2770)

On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (38067)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML

#4703567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (6652)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: