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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10561) - you deserved it (39248)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

#9111190
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9442) - you deserved it (26791)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (8870)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

#9105957
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (28888)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:12pm - misc - by katharine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42112) - you deserved it (4089)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

#9102089
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (9553)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

#9101035
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (3758)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (3771)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (2347)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (5315)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

#9097225
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (7406)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:11am - love - by MrsRockyHorror (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

#9096813
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (2601)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:35am - love - by el211 (woman) - United States (New York)



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