Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39570) - you deserved it (4151)
On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (27812)
On 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm - love - by badtrip (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (5685)
On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65819) - you deserved it (2737)
On 03/02/2009 at 8:57pm - money - by Vahootie (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45718) - you deserved it (1655)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by lexibabe (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (80987)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41518) - you deserved it (11406)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (7317)
On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65611) - you deserved it (14296)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75775) - you deserved it (3158)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (43970)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50791) - you deserved it (8819)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14258) - you deserved it (50789)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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