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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (12444)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

#6695402
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (2735)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

#6695365
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30914) - you deserved it (7507)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:38pm - money - by muggle68 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

#6694429
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (2531)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9509) - you deserved it (27283)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

#6692525
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5738) - you deserved it (66344)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (12972)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (33363)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received an early Christmas gift from my boyfriend of ten months. It was soap. In a few days he will be receiving his very expensive specialized car horn he has wanted for years, while I will be enjoying my new bar of Walmart brand soap, which has already begun to give me a rash. FML

#6690600
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (4333)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:04am - love - by soapysoap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

#6689873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7096) - you deserved it (27658)

On 12/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by nofinal (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8599) - you deserved it (36365)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

#6688829
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24536) - you deserved it (2548)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Melinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

#6687460
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (3864)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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