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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34632) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

#5310529
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52330) - you deserved it (2241)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

#5309799
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30058) - you deserved it (6773)

On 09/17/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by Masey (woman) - United States

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

#5309317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (5193)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out I'm on wage garnishment because my mother, who took out a student loan for me back in '05, didn't pay off the $2015 owed when she said she would. I got screwed over financially because of her. FML

#5308756
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (8649)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:32am - money - by MochiMomoChan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (3403)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

#5307387
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (3640)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:15am - work - by Economess (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

#5306318
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (49129)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17275) - you deserved it (12903)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally figured out that when a man says "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML

#5305557
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10835) - you deserved it (30717)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:15am - love - by justplainsad (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

#5304412
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (49943)

On 09/16/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by civic4life (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML

#5303139
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Lulu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying out for a play I really wanted to be in. After my audition, I was feeling really good. She said she would post the cast list tomorrow. Not knowing where she would post it, I asked her. Her reply? "It doesn't matter. You won't be on it anyway." FML

#5303014
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Kat (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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