FMLs submitted from United States

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

by jessii / 10/09/2010 at 4:22am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

by sister_woes / 10/09/2010 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

by mylifesuckssss / 10/09/2010 at 12:39am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

by theleague / 10/09/2010 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

by Rob / 10/09/2010 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

by mster233 / 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML

by ~Mr.Void / 10/08/2010 at 11:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 8:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health