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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

#4483949
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38781) - you deserved it (3787)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53171) - you deserved it (19891)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

#4482607
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49372) - you deserved it (3421)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm - work - by d.stack (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#4481809
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/12/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by NoticeTheLackOfNumbers (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58405) - you deserved it (2935)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

#4477609
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (6268)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Lasko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55309) - you deserved it (3432)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50518) - you deserved it (6968)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML

#4472347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46635) - you deserved it (4814)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by CosmicJoke (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

#4468177
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (41240)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37784) - you deserved it (11227)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

#4467234
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55455) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:01am - love - by FUSMC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

#4466050
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (56004)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)



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