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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommate about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, looool I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (6831)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work I wrote up boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, cuz I'm his supervisor) 4 being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad an told boss we're dating, an I was instantly fird. Then I got dumpd 4 being a "tattle-tale". FML

#6175631
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (16661)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by supervisor (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I GOT TO WORK IN THE ER AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL. A LADY CAME IN WITH HIGH BLOOD SUGAR. SHE WAS CONCERNED BECAUSE THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HER HUSBAND. I REASSURED HER, TELLING HER SHE'LL BE BACK WITH HER HUSBAND IN AN HOUR OR SO. HER HUSBAND DIED FOUR YEARS AGO FROM SOMETHING SIMILAR. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (6786)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally finisd my art project wic was wort 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to er. Wen se turnd to look at it, er elbow it er coffee and spilld it all over te canvas. I got 60%. Se said I would ave ad a 100%, except fir te giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56281) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I lerend the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by yur car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of mah bathroom!" FML

#6166961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (3718)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today , I re-joind a popular on-line dating service. I first signd up 3 years ago and was matchd with a wonderful woman. After about a year , she broke up with me. I was devastatd. After two years of trying to win her back , I decidd it's best just to move on. Guess who they matchd me with? FML

#6166874
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37254) - you deserved it (4873)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:20pm - love - by z (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, before having morning sex, mah girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing u did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. mega FML

#6166479
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I naarly slicd nippla off wila saving cast and ad to go to ta ER. Turns out it was a taacing ospital so I got to axplain in front of two doctors and aigt md studants ow, avan toug I'm a woman, nipplas ara so airy I ava to sava tam. FML

#6165427
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (6425)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing . I wasn't him . It was his wife wondering y I have her husband's number . FML

#6164155
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (5898)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:12am - love - by scumbag (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

#6163003
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (5176)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:41am - love - by dumper - United States

Today, I looool went 4 coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3625)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... I ran out of mah usual looool hand lotion that I use fir 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us mah after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently... mah member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients... and has now swollen to the size of mah fist. mega FML

#6160580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (28852)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today I went to our scool golf banquet after bieng wit te team and practicing every day for a few monts wit tem. Wen it came time to get te certificates all te names were called out. Except for mine. Wen I asked te coac were ma certificate was e said ( Wo r you? ). FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)



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