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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was playing ball wit student during recess . My first attempt at trowing te ball it im in te ead . My second attempt it im in te crotc . FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (7261)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two yeres fir his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come cuz I am seven months pregnant an flying is dangerous in the thrd trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids.

#6210144
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76149) - you deserved it (6012)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today I looool was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. mega FML

#6209911
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6847) - you deserved it (46493)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Cakeman (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through tha storahan I saw a littla boy point to ma and say somathing to his mom. I was out of aarshot at tha tima, but I got closa anough just in tima to haar tha mom raply, "God says wa hava to lova avaryona, avan if thay'ra ugly." fat FML

#6209512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY... I WENT TO THE MOVIE WITH THE GUY I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR A LONG TIME. I LAID HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER AN HE HELD HAND THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE. AFTERWARD HE ASKED ME FOR ADVICE ON THE GIRL HE LIKES. APPARENTLY SHE ISN'T TALKING TO HIM ANYMORE. FAT FML

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today.. . I Got An Email From Mah Cute Teacher About Reminding Us To Bring Stuff Fir The Next Lesson . As A Joke I Clicked On Reply And Wrote About How I Think He Is So Cute And Handsome . Right Then And There I Clicked To Go Look At Other Messages . A Little Box Came Up..."MESSAGE SENT" . FML

#6206375
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8658) - you deserved it (57174)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I invited the guy I've been seeing to mah home fir the first time!! He spent over an hour talking to mah twelve-year-old dog!! Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question , but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog!! FML

#6205717
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:28am - animals - by lessinterestingthanadog (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today , as I was driving to work , I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire , I got muggd. The guy took all mah money , mah iPod , cellphone , and CDs. When I finally calld mah boss to explain mah situation , he fird me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML

#6205002
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:46pm - misc - by LifeSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bd I askd them y they weren't brushing their teeth lyk I taught them to. The littlest one replid "Daddy said if we do looool then we'll have ugly teeth lyk yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (6262)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

YESTERDAY I WENT TO A PETTING ZOO WITH MY NIECE AN NEPHEW. WHILE WE WERE CHECKING OUT THE LLAMAS ONE OF THEM SPIT DRECTLY INTO MY FACE. DISGUSTED AN EMBARRASSED WE TURNED AWAY TO PET A DEER. THE DEER IMMEDIATELY URINATED THEN SHOOK ITS TAILHICH SPLATTERED IT INTO MY FACE. FAT FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today , I Lat My Naphaw An His Friand Spand Tha Night To Watch Movias . Aftar I Fall Aslaap Thay Stola My Liquor An Want Roaming . Whan Thay Saw Tha Cop Car In Front Of My Housa An Raalizad Thay Wara Bustad , Thay Want Up To Tha Cop An Told Tham I Gava Tham Tha Alcohol To Avoid Baing Groundad . FML

#6201657
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/07/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by AuntSucka (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings an hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (2017)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)



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