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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I had to sit and listen to the guy in the next cube brag to his wife about the promotion he just received. The promotion my boss told me last week that I was going to get. FML

#10942679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (2511)

On 06/03/2010 at 11:45am - work - by Greg - United States

Today, my husband decided he will be a 'stay at home' dad. We have two cats. No kids. FML

#10938544
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (3921)

On 06/03/2010 at 3:44am - animals - by Kate - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML

#10935757
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (5440)

On 06/03/2010 at 12:47am - love - by sincerely - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38921) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

#10922943
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (30024)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

#10911486
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (5986)

On 06/01/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Amb (woman) - United States

Today, someone broke into my car to steal $1.50. FML

#10908235
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34684) - you deserved it (3580)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:47pm - money - by Brokeashell - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

#10906568
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

#10903172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (4811)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:49am - love - by staciedee - United States (California)

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (126902)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship on-line. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

#10900890
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (10641)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:05am - work - by effme (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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