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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (15540)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (3479)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36892) - you deserved it (4761)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

#11264233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by pritch44 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

#11251365
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (4019)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Blank (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (2615)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

#11225858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62225) - you deserved it (7627)

On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

#11218356
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (21637)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and he hates my dog. FML

#11217178
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (7345)

On 06/15/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I awoke to find that my car had been burglarized in my own driveway and several hundred dollars worth of electronics were stolen. I only later discovered that my campus parking pass had also been stolen when I got a $75 ticket while taking a chemistry test. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

#11211630
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44815) - you deserved it (5458)

On 06/15/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Mamasboyhater - United States (California)



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