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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (4676)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

#7453397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (2010)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8139) - you deserved it (27111)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

#7451300
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (44341)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20705) - you deserved it (4538)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5793) - you deserved it (79750)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (13183)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

#7449785
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (3480)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:09am - love - by mysterygurll1234567 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (14451)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12615) - you deserved it (23443)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

#7442500
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9139) - you deserved it (28502)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)



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