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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (54273)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

#3549532
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53038) - you deserved it (3050)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by allwaysbuggedinheaven - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61295) - you deserved it (2567)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

#3544165
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7181) - you deserved it (53076)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by DMO (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

#3542974
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50016) - you deserved it (11855)

On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30163) - you deserved it (17920)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (45186)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5277) - you deserved it (70868)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

#3531559
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6582) - you deserved it (72995)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

#3529390
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53105) - you deserved it (2638)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

#3528388
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38715) - you deserved it (3739)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by JMU (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (13466)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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