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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#7147521
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (5546)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

#7147061
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (6190)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

#7146444
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you deserved it (32744)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:20pm - money - by WorkSexMonkey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

#7145421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (7510)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by GeorgiaBOYY (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (7071)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (2751)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

#7139398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10965) - you deserved it (24342)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:01am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (8836)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

#7127845
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (8415)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm - money - by brokeandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

#7125178
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you deserved it (32600)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by PWI_addict (woman) - United States (New York)



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