Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (31071)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (51785)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (3457)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (37381)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

#11283515
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (11471)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (55092)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (15539)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (4761)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

#11264233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by pritch44 - United States (Indiana)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: