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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

#11225858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62225) - you deserved it (7627)

On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

#11218356
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (21633)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and he hates my dog. FML

#11217178
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46478) - you deserved it (7337)

On 06/15/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I awoke to find that my car had been burglarized in my own driveway and several hundred dollars worth of electronics were stolen. I only later discovered that my campus parking pass had also been stolen when I got a $75 ticket while taking a chemistry test. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

#11211630
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44807) - you deserved it (5456)

On 06/15/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Mamasboyhater - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

#11209991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43067) - you deserved it (15297)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:11am - love - by milkybear (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

#11198963
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44347) - you deserved it (2924)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21357) - you deserved it (27475)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

#11189132
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (4082)

On 06/14/2010 at 9:50am - health - by greenblue90 - United States (Ohio)

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

#11166091
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8283) - you deserved it (45545)

On 06/13/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by jonjon (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

#11164761
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (3155)

On 06/13/2010 at 5:56am - animals - by spenmy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

#11163519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (3393)

On 06/13/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Yup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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