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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

#3518041
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (4120)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by FriendsSuck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

#3517993
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (10529)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - money - by icecreamer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

#3517987
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11268) - you deserved it (67981)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

#3515386
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (49779)

On 07/05/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by smth (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

#3514129
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (21099)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

#3511573
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (3775)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:06pm - health - by yeasty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10095) - you deserved it (59408)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45018) - you deserved it (1950)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (19623)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51962) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61069) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (4286)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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