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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML

#11452119
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (5009)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

#11450736
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10531) - you deserved it (38999)

On 06/25/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9452) - you deserved it (68504)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62843) - you deserved it (13134)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95757) - you deserved it (6359)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was twenty minutes into babysitting my twin baby cousins when I realized that there are no diapers to be found anywhere in the house. I have no way to get a hold of my aunt, no money to buy new diapers, and I don't even have a way to get to the store in the first place. The next few hours are going to be lovely. FML

#11431996
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (4715)

On 06/24/2010 at 5:38pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I won an academic award during an assembly. Everyone laughed, followed by booing. FML

#11424591
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (4837)

On 06/24/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Colbasaur - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

#11418023
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40927) - you deserved it (5082)

On 06/24/2010 at 1:09am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38320) - you deserved it (3160)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents made me a steak dinner to celebrate me visiting home from college. I've been a vegetarian for eleven years. This is the third time they've done this. FML

#11409847
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (11942)

On 06/23/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by cjkelly1 (woman) - United States



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