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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML

#11463238
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32414) - you deserved it (19540)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by HaleyDrew08 - United States

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45174) - you deserved it (3207)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10846) - you deserved it (49743)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML

#11452119
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (5009)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

#11450736
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10531) - you deserved it (38999)

On 06/25/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9452) - you deserved it (68503)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62844) - you deserved it (13134)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95720) - you deserved it (6356)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was twenty minutes into babysitting my twin baby cousins when I realized that there are no diapers to be found anywhere in the house. I have no way to get a hold of my aunt, no money to buy new diapers, and I don't even have a way to get to the store in the first place. The next few hours are going to be lovely. FML

#11431996
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (4715)

On 06/24/2010 at 5:38pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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