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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

#11628877
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (10276)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by thesadone - United States (California)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11315) - you deserved it (34725)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML

#11618988
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9396) - you deserved it (55002)

On 07/02/2010 at 7:53pm - misc - by katara (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

#11614561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (3703)

On 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm - kids - by yrfavweapon - United States (New York)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47049) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (7888)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#11570883
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (58654)

On 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

#11558883
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11034) - you deserved it (32193)

On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)



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