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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, mah mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real . We now have 3 more people living in our house, an none of them have a sense of personal space . I wake up to their faces in mah windows . Thanks mom . FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (2059)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today I drove from Seattle WA to Vancouver BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain!! Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain!! FML

#6349337
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (2102)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , Me , A Coworker , An Mah Manager Were Looking At Random Advertisements. One Ad Was A Picture Of Three Fishes. My Coworker Named The Three Fishes Wat I Thought Were Completely Random Names. I Said ( Those Are Stupid Names. ) Turns Out Those Are Mah Manager's Kid's Names. Mega FML

#6348891
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7497) - you deserved it (27195)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday , I Realizd Why Mah 50 Year Old Dad's 30 Something Girlfriend Lookd So Familiar . She Is In All Mah Parents Wedding Photos.. . As The Flower Girl . FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43503) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, I WAS WAITING AT AN INTERSECTION. ACROS FROM ME, A CAR WAS APPROACHING AND A BUNNY RAN OUT. TRYING TO SAVE IT, I FLASHED MAH LIGHT AND BEEPED AT THE CAR CRAZILY, WHEN THE BUNNY TURNED AROUND. THE LIGHT TURNED, AND AS I DROVE FORWARD THE BUNNY CAME BACK OUT AND I HIT IT. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (6650)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, son told me to grow a pair an ask girlfriend of a year an a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11869) - you deserved it (32821)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a gift card under bd tat I lost a few mont ago 4 $400 to a store tat went out of busines last week. mega FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (11545)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, at work, I screamd, usd one of mah employees as a human shield, dove 4 cover, and crid. Why? A bat flew into mah store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (9066)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when mah boyfriend calld me, saying his parents are in town an want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. real FML

#6342074
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (5232)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran outside to start mah car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in mah bedroom. He watche me through mah window. mega FML

TODAY, I TOOK THE BUS TO WORK. I WAS EXHAUSTED AND HAD A BIG MUG OF COFFEE. HALF ASLEEP AND THINKING I WAS IN MAH CAR, I REACHED FORWARD TO PUT IT IN THE "CUP HOLDER" DURING THE RIDE. WHEN I LET GO, I POURED HOT COFFEE NOT ONLY ALL OVER MYSELF, BUT ALSO ON THE LARGE, ANGRY-LOOKING MAN NEXT TO ME. FML

#6340029
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8099) - you deserved it (24557)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I WAS LATE FIR AN INTERVIEW. GOING INTO THE ELEVATOR, A MAN RAN UP TO THE DOORS BUT SINCE I WAS LATE, I PRESSD THE "CLOSE" BUTTON. WHEN I ARRIVD TO THE OFFICE, THE SECRETARY ASKD ME TO WAIT. THE BOSS WALKD IN TO INTERVIEW ME. THE MAN WHOSE FACE I CLOSD THE ELEVATOR DOORS ON. FML

#6338565
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5869) - you deserved it (51978)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by xYumix - United States (Hawaii)



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