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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (15825)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (8834)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

#6488326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (5986)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (3585)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

#6487113
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (2277)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

#6484371
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (1963)

On 11/27/2009 at 8:48pm - animals - by bill - United States

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

#6482336
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32310) - you deserved it (9500)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (3201)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56642) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (5206)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

#6477296
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (5507)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (55606)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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