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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

#11521879
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9779) - you deserved it (40421)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by WelcomeWagon - United States

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

#11515790
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (47500)

On 06/28/2010 at 9:28am - work - by ladyhavery - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (36264)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

#11511687
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (4423)

On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (9605)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41975) - you deserved it (3631)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32822) - you deserved it (3820)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML

#11463238
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (19540)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by HaleyDrew08 - United States

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45175) - you deserved it (3207)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10846) - you deserved it (49743)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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