Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18916) - you deserved it (35313)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by girlie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60366) - you deserved it (2077)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63083) - you deserved it (3512)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by arrrrggggghhhh (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184991) - you deserved it (21609)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43869) - you deserved it (7190)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93458) - you deserved it (3752)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61744) - you deserved it (6369)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (35686)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51569) - you deserved it (2274)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47069) - you deserved it (17681)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by hoovered (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62419) - you deserved it (2172)
On 03/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by VroomVroom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (11377)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18225) - you deserved it (84942)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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