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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML

#11668391
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (4261)

On 07/05/2010 at 1:37am - love - by metalmusic (woman) - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

#11662244
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35183) - you deserved it (4418)

On 07/04/2010 at 8:15pm - work - by FML - United States

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

#11637324
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (5921)

On 07/03/2010 at 3:52pm - misc - by ZittyMii (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

#11628877
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (10276)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by thesadone - United States (California)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11315) - you deserved it (34722)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML

#11618988
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (54969)

On 07/02/2010 at 7:53pm - misc - by katara (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

#11614561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (3703)

On 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm - kids - by yrfavweapon - United States (New York)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47017) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (7888)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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