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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

#6544592
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8719) - you deserved it (35974)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by PntsLessWonder (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

#6542379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29662) - you deserved it (2109)

On 11/30/2009 at 10:22pm - money - by cande (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (8776)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

#6535314
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (7935)

On 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

#6534520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (5595)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45895) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37556) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

#6532310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29325) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (12930)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (5444)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It is going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

#6527838
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Dante (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML

#6527695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (3345)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36109) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)



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