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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38484) - you deserved it (3574)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18469) - you deserved it (29134)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

#11798606
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (5200)

On 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm - misc - by lovelikewoe (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

#11794777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (4317)

On 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm - love - by thanksalot - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64657) - you deserved it (8738)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

#11712585
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11122) - you deserved it (38603)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

#11704983
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (17895)

On 07/06/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

#11698354
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by drivencrazy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

#11694056
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (8902)

On 07/06/2010 at 5:16am - misc - by SOMAgirl (woman) - United States (California)



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