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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

#11894871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13838) - you deserved it (26892)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (64047)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

#11890639
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (19837)

On 07/15/2010 at 1:19am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

#11889011
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (3742)

On 07/15/2010 at 12:12am - love - by sunkissedberries - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

#11886380
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (40571)

On 07/14/2010 at 10:37pm - love - by readytomingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

#11875155
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16930) - you deserved it (26831)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm - misc - by rofld (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

#11867771
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you deserved it (64799)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by Eyefreshener (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

#11867757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (5957)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (3456)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (9886)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (31291)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12599) - you deserved it (40916)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (43546)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)



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