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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40200) - you deserved it (3456)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (9886)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15780) - you deserved it (31292)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (40834)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (43540)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54401) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (47318)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

#11853841
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (8189)

On 07/13/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by dammitrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12088) - you deserved it (38832)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (12894)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15336) - you deserved it (40443)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (10394)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML

#11838934
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (17532)

On 07/12/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Fefe (woman) - United States



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