Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (7152)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)
Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79046) - you deserved it (2818)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Chops (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48026) - you deserved it (3235)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (9550)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41455) - you deserved it (4179)
On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47788) - you deserved it (9465)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43516) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59025) - you deserved it (18187)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56348) - you deserved it (15767)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52504) - you deserved it (10014)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72879) - you deserved it (3616)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (15275)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (9590)
On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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