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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I met the man of my dreams. Beautiful, smart, academic, charming, a true gentlemen, totally my type. I am at a bar voted "the best gay bar in the world". FML

#12059383
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (17536)

On 07/23/2010 at 3:39am - love - by V - United States

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

#12057570
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32134) - you deserved it (5349)

On 07/23/2010 at 1:58am - misc - by Me. - United States (Texas)

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

#12049549
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (30581)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by jennavankirk - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

#12044097
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13876) - you deserved it (44183)

On 07/22/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Nic (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (4669)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (3186)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

#12037742
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33152) - you deserved it (5072)

On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

#12026889
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40771) - you deserved it (5572)

On 07/21/2010 at 3:32pm - love - by Jessi - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14126) - you deserved it (74633)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46481) - you deserved it (4531)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

#12004673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (15017)

On 07/20/2010 at 3:01pm - love - by Ohshucks! - United States

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

#12002480
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm - animals - by brentkd - United States



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