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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

#4854572
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13540) - you deserved it (51272)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by p-man - United States

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

#4854155
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44699) - you deserved it (8667)

On 08/27/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by gonebabygone - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

#4850742
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

#4850568
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65279) - you deserved it (5263)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

#4847720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42827) - you deserved it (7616)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62266) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

#4844745
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56595) - you deserved it (7751)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm - love - by lonelyboy101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76782) - you deserved it (3360)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my little sister recieved a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and says,"Cant you just act pretty?" FML

#4839139
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (4920)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:31pm - kids - by yummolives (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

#4838689
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (13131)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

#4837442
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47622) - you deserved it (4091)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (41274)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States



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