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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (14363)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11467) - you deserved it (21682)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31569) - you deserved it (2148)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

#7442500
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8566) - you deserved it (27258)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (7768)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to court to see whether my drivers license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML

#7437727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12103) - you deserved it (27884)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by haus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

#7437449
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm - work - by PiMan (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (6289)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

#7433438
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (4763)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:59am - misc - by momof2boys - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (4287)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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