Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML

#8008205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10767) - you deserved it (41311)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:19am - misc - by skinsfan7592 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (11140)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (8569)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

#7998625
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (3584)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:41am - love - by mmvv - United States

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40620) - you deserved it (3508)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (5594)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

#7984912
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6879) - you deserved it (30822)

On 02/07/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by 16seconds - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2627)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (7838)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

#7973705
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31858) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: