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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

#12201000
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44143) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I dropped my phone in water, and my friends told me to put it in rice to draw out the water. They put my phone in riceroni. My phone now smells like chicken and has rice seasoning stuck all over it. Needless to say it still doesn't work. FML

#12198521
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14186) - you deserved it (32041)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by rosesareyellow - United States (Alabama)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (37035)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend actually offered me $1000 to break up with him, and to move back to where my family lives 5 hours away. FML

#12195696
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (6038)

On 07/29/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by BadGirlfriend12 (woman) - United States

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (14453)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (3637)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

#12183114
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (9053)

On 07/29/2010 at 6:56am - misc - by Andre - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from vacation to discover that one of my friends had broken into my house, painted my room a hideous color, ruined my hardwood floors with the paint, and left huge mess for me to clean. When I confronted her about it, she called me ungrateful. Everyone I know agrees with her. FML

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

#12176888
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (12041)

On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

#12175151
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (8712)

On 07/28/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by runandmope (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34404) - you deserved it (4895)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

#12167424
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (4619)

On 07/28/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by 34_22_34 (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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