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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (12222)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (6680)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (5452)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15216) - you deserved it (32149)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (12814)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (3341)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you deserved it (40491)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (3782)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (17334)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (5315)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (3597)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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