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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

#5841852
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7524) - you deserved it (57276)

On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

#5841442
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13242) - you deserved it (25529)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

#5840446
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (3670)

On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

#5839452
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33892) - you deserved it (4654)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

#5839185
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25564) - you deserved it (4657)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

#5837946
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (1654)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by gooddriver (woman) - United States

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

#5835867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (5623)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19700) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

#5831331
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10212) - you deserved it (23557)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (6912)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (2078)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87774) - you deserved it (14676)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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