Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27526) - you deserved it (5583)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

#7984912
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6864) - you deserved it (30793)

On 02/07/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by 16seconds - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32245) - you deserved it (7838)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

#7973705
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (2558)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (8591)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

#7962571
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (3761)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:16am - love - by mike (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

#7960442
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (29131)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:12am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

#7957941
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (5754)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Bruja5 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: