FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 9:48am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

by Flaps / 11/27/2010 at 7:36am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML

by loving grandaughter / 11/27/2010 at 6:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

by >{%£•¥ / 11/27/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a back-up girl if we break up. FML

by smiles22 / 11/27/2010 at 1:38am / United States / Love

 Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 1:27am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

by nanuka_g / 11/27/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

by Username / 11/26/2010 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

by Interrupted / 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

by bleh / 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

by what / 11/26/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 1:18pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 12:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Geek