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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11759) - you deserved it (30500)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (11762)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

#5964680
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (6539)

On 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

#5959994
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (2887)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by iross (man) - United States (California)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (3357)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

#5957888
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (5432)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by ihatemylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML

#5957039
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (4677)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

#5955896
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39012) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

#5954994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33452) - you deserved it (5692)

On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11683) - you deserved it (44063)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10139) - you deserved it (36507)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

#5953662
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (6336)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

#5953331
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22037) - you deserved it (8414)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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