Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12105) - you deserved it (71627)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (81332)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72062) - you deserved it (3245)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12115) - you deserved it (91041)
On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47102) - you deserved it (13451)
On 03/18/2009 at 10:57pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59068) - you deserved it (7384)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was excited to go to school because it was my 18th birthday. I walk in, and see a huge sign that says "Happy Birthday Katie! Love, Your Love." I ran up to my boyfriend of 4 years and thanked him. He responded with "It's your birthday?" The sign was for a Katie two grades lower than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60291) - you deserved it (3638)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by MyB-Day (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (105936)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85123) - you deserved it (19074)
On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63696) - you deserved it (2160)
On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67142) - you deserved it (22280)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59710) - you deserved it (7398)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11103) - you deserved it (61572)
On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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