Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (5215)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60653) - you deserved it (4044)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (30178)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

#12604677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (7278)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by Funless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11777) - you deserved it (61767)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52088) - you deserved it (14628)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (2902)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

#12592660
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (4075)

On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36029) - you deserved it (3540)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

#12577034
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40874) - you deserved it (4734)

On 08/17/2010 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (12784)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (3814)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: