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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

#6961000
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (12346)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by blahppl14 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (3104)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (7940)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

#6958875
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (2709)

On 12/26/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by taylor_eileen - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

#6958712
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (2600)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML

#6958051
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by DeannaMarie - United States (Florida)

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

#6957410
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (7668)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8197) - you deserved it (85899)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (3198)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have an Urinary Tract Infection, causing me to have to use the bathroom about every ten minutes. I'm also about to leave on a 15 hour car trip with my entire family. FML

#6949981
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (2300)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (8560)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (2220)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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