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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

#7699388
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (3670)

On 01/30/2010 at 4:40am - misc - by wowsucks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (9029)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I decided to give one of them (a seven-year-old) a piggy-back ride, thinking I'm strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before faceplanting on the wooden floor. She is fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

#7693157
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (22686)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:05am - kids - by ouchy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

#7693033
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (8468)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (5256)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (2793)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24149) - you deserved it (4885)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

#7674410
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/29/2010 at 1:59pm - misc - by Dana (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (4592)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11852) - you deserved it (54729)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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