Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (2803)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41372) - you deserved it (3633)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (7268)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (3906)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

#8299484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33080) - you deserved it (2726)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by thirdwheel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (7480)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

#8293432
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14178) - you deserved it (30821)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:29am - work - by Dumbdumb (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

#8293318
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (4309)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

#8286568
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (2253)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Abandoned (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (2864)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

#8283424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (5908)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:14am - love - by shininghayley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

#8279191
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (14472)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by tayluh26 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: