Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

#12685763
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (14040)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by inseriouspain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (5656)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46575) - you deserved it (13637)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

#12677000
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (6345)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:28am - work - by jemstuff (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

#12676840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (4967)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:17am - love - by arace15336 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37777) - you deserved it (13248)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (5668)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

#12673402
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (6259)

On 08/21/2010 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by jessiegirl - United States (Illinois)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (17540)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45096) - you deserved it (3541)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50283) - you deserved it (15500)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (2995)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7857) - you deserved it (37610)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: