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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7349) - you deserved it (26701)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32491) - you deserved it (12407)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22925) - you deserved it (34747)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30593) - you deserved it (6463)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23008) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (5746)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (2938)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

#7718053
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by hahahawoww (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16292) - you deserved it (75470)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

#7709427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (44430)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:21pm - work - by Whoopsx99 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

#7708774
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (2764)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm - love - by hahahaha090114 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (2440)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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