Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66039) - you deserved it (7642)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (14323)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (79565) - you deserved it (6033)
On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (101571)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend was driving me to her house against my will when I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9157) - you deserved it (59558)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by lukey_G (man) - United States (California)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306699) - you deserved it (40897)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55959) - you deserved it (6800)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm - misc - by churchgoer (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said ok, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61358) - you deserved it (3056)
On 03/19/2009 at 8:07pm - misc - by shelteredchild (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (73235)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16948) - you deserved it (51773)
On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61720) - you deserved it (5673)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ineverknew (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking and to grab a granola bar at work why my boss walked in my office. We were talking for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realize I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (33990)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70722) - you deserved it (2983)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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