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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

#12695884
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40940) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/23/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (22431)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband just told me that he no longer loves me but keeps me around to handle his finances. FML

#12693403
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (3612)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:17am - love - by Lace (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

#12693106
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10004) - you deserved it (31451)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:03am - kids - by laughxlove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

#12685763
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (14040)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by inseriouspain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (5656)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46569) - you deserved it (13637)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

#12677000
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (6345)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:28am - work - by jemstuff (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

#12676840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:17am - love - by arace15336 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (13224)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (5668)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

#12673402
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42975) - you deserved it (6253)

On 08/21/2010 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by jessiegirl - United States (Illinois)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (17518)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)



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